Bah, Humbug.

          Apparently, my previous post didn't work so well on the whole holiday spirit thing.  My tree has been up for four days now, and it's still totally naked.  Maybe this is due to exhaustion.  I'll blame it on finals week.  Andre my boyfriend has been out of town on a business trip for almost two weeks.  That's it - I'm just waiting for him to return so we can do it together.  Blah, blah, blah.  None of that has ever mattered before!
          So here I sit, sharing my living room with a fake tree in it's birthday suit.  It was even a struggle hanging my yearly mistletoe and cheap garland swags.  I wonder, why is this holiday such a big deal to me?!?  I am not a religious person.  In that sense, this holiday to me is almost a farce.  I don't go to church, and very little of what I do during this season is based on religious principles.  Okay - now I'm starting to ponder my entire existence, but we'll leave that for another day.
          As I get older, I've noticed my development of a distinct disgust for excess.  If I can do without, if I can make my life a little more simple, I will.  Watching television the other day made me so frustrated as I watched a few holiday commercials.  They were pitting the parents against each other to get his or her child the ultimate gift that would impress everyone at school.  Another was playing off the idea that the mom knew nothing about her child, but when she bought them the perfect materialistic gift, she became the best mom ever with confetti and happy music and banners and the works!  Are you kidding me?!?
          That's when it hit me.  Maybe I didn't feel like hauling out all of these decorations because at the time, it just felt like a bunch of stuff.  The excess of the season had made me uncomfortable with my own traditions of celebration.  Ouch.  By being afraid of too much, I didn't do anything at all.  Which, quite frankly, I feel is just as bad.  So, I jumped in and started decorating.
          Well, it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine from there.  I put the bead garland on the tree, decided it was ugly and childish, and took it all off.  Then Andre and I tried the gold ribbon, and I did such a half-ass job that we had to do it all over again.

          Maybe it finally clicked and I started caring, because the little red glitter spirals  were placed perfectly.  As we started getting out ornaments and hanging them on the tree, I remembered why I love decorating the tree.  Every ornament I carefully wrapped in tissue paper last year for storage whispered tales of shared memories to us as we searched for the perfect branch on the tree for its story.  The Titanic from Pigeon Forge this past spring, a Gretsch guitar from Nashville two years ago.  Oh yeah, that's why I love decorating the tree.
          Only thing left on the list is to go pick out our annual holiday ornament to add to the tree, and all will be as it should.  Phew, that was a close one!